Ah…the untamed wild of our neighbors to the north. When our Canadian brethren aren’t busy dousing french fries with gravy, savoring ham-like bacon or enjoying universal health care, they sometimes engage in a leisurely game of hand-to-jaw combat with wildlife that preys on the family pet. While taking her puppy out, Marie Simon noticed the pup kept trying to run back into the house. She turns to see a coyote lunging for the dog. She grabs the coyote, tosses the puppy out of danger and PUNCHES THE COYOTE IN THE JAW. It runs away. The puppy is safe. The woman gets treated for minor scratches and a rabies vaccine.
Marie Simon, you are woman and I hear you roar.
I too, am the owner of a small dog that probably looks like a T.G.I.Friday’s Puppetizer to most large predators. Usually when I come home I’m greeted with bounding energy and a wellspring of affection. But not yesterday.
When I returned home to a lethargic dog that preferred to lay on the frozen ground than run around outside, I grew concerned. I called the vet’s office. Nothing says good times like, “Wait around for vomit or diarrhea, then call us.” Still, she’s lumbering around looking pathetic. Corey pointed out that perhaps the giant Busy Bone I gave her for her birthday the day before was a bad idea. I waited her out. We sat on the couch, mostly motionless until Corey returned from class at 9 p.m.
Naturally, the little monster ran like a toddler on a 5-hour energy drink binge to the door when Corey returned home, catapulting off the side of the couch and acting like nothing had been wrong. I gave her the side eye for making me sound crazy. She’s been all over Corey over the past few months. Go figure. I’d still punch a coyote for her. But when it comes to the rabbits that taunt her during the summer? She’s on her own.
In other canine related news, I ran across this poem by Jack McCarthy the other day and it made me melt. Read through to the end…and try not to drip on your computer. He’s wonderful. If you agree…go buy his stuff. Support the arts!
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