Elliott,
Tomorrow, you will officially turn one year old. You and I had planned on taking a trip to Texas to visit your Nana, Papa and other members of my family to celebrate your birthday. Unfortunately, you got very sick, Nana has been sick and it was going to be 110* in the area so we had to cancel the trip. It’s going to be just you and me for your birthday.
It’s funny, because as I’m writing this, a friend of your father’s and mine is having a baby in the same hospital where you were born one year ago tomorrow. We don’t know if she’s having a boy or a girl, but we’re very excited. It’s been on my mind a lot – how much this past year with you has changed our little family.
On August 5th 2010, your Nana was in Bowling Green and helping me get ready for your arrival. We had been excited, praying, and planning for your arrival since December 2009. I was very tired on August 5th. One day, when you’re older, I’ll tell you the story of how you were born. Most likely over a campfire with S’mores. Because it’s a bit of a scary story with a very, very happy ending.
I can’t believe it has been a year since you entered our lives. I remember coming home from the hospital thinking, “I can’t believe they handed us this baby. Don’t they know that [your father] and I don’t have a clue as to how to take care of a baby!” That wasn’t true. I had a clue. I had plenty of clues. Your father on the other hand…some days I think his clues get lost. But we loved you.
We love you so very much – and that love is different every day. When you were small, we loved the tiny-ness of you. Your father loved your chubby cheeks. I loved your tiny lips. We loved that you had hair and plenty of it. We loved holding you, swaddling you and rocking you to sleep. We loved your big, room bursting burps after bottles. We didn’t love your stinky, poopy diapers – but we really loved the lavender bedtime soap smell you had before you drifted off to sleep.
When you got a little bigger, we took you to daycare. We loved reading your daily reports. We loved to see what you drank – and soon what you ate. We loved to read updates about the songs you’d clap your hands along to. We loved seeing you loving the buggy rides around the school. We loved seeing you make friends and get excited to play and learn and laugh and eat waffles. We didn’t love having to pick you up and keep you home when you got sick, but we loved seeing you feel better.
You continued to get bigger. We loved feeding you cereal, then fruits, veggies and proteins. We loved watching you learn to sit up on your own and reach for things around you. We loved playing peek-a-boo and dancing around in your room to music. We loved tickling your armpits and kissing your ticklish spot under your chin to make you laugh. Your laugh is the best sound in the world.
Your big smile is the best sight in the world. My favorite moment of the day is when I walk into your room and peer over you in your crib. Sometimes you’re already awake – sometimes you’re still asleep. But when you see me, you always smile EXTRA big and reach your arms out for me. I love watching you pull a blanket over your face then yank it down fast – as you play peek-a-boo with me. We loved watching you learn to crawl and soon, pull yourself up and hold the coffee table as you walk alongside it. We don’t love it when you pull down the DVD’s, reach into the toilet, lean over the side of the bath tub, dangle cords around the back of your neck like a necklace, hit the Blu-Ray player, chase after the dog or try to eat things off the floor. That scares us. We love that you’re adventurous, though.
Your voice is the best sound in the world. You started saying da-da in the spring, but you know to call me ma-ma when I feed you breakfast in the morning. You love to talk after you wake up from a nap and are sitting in your chair to eat. We love that you have fun in the water and you’re very curious about how things work. We love that you enjoy making us smile. You’re silly and you’re smart which is an awesome combination. When you’re frustrated, you’re also defiant and headstrong. Those can be awesome if you use them to fight for good things in the world like love, fairness and justice. Those are very un-awesome when I’m trying to give you medicine or put you in bed for a nap.
You have brought so much love into our family. You make your ma-ma and da-da so very happy and proud of you. You make Lily stress out a bit – but you’re one third her age (in people years) and three times her weight – so I think that’s fair. I hope that maybe in another year or two, you can be friends. You have made me a more grounded person. I am a better person for having you in this world. I hope I grow to be a more patient, creative, nurturing, insightful and kind person every year I’m with you. When there are things that are troubling me, you provide perspective. It’s not always easy, it’s not always fun, but it’s always worth the effort.
So tomorrow, you and I will spend the day together. We will have cupcakes, frozen yogurt and every day adventures on the town. A few weeks ago, we had friends come over to celebrate your birthday. We clapped and sang and you opened many kind and generous presents. Tomorrow, we will celebrate you, my son, the greatest gift I have ever received. Here’s hoping that this is the first of many happy years and birthdays to come.
- Ma-ma
