It’s been a wonderfully whirlwind week for the Patterdices. We finally got to share the news of Baby Gaga with the rest of the world and our good friend Jenny, over at the Billman blog, got to interview a cast member from Glee. It’s as if in the middle of all this snow we’ve been swathed in sunshine. As I’m transitioning into the second trimester…I thought, “Wow. I may have had some nasty bouts of nausea, but I never threw up.”
Corey even asked on occasion. Inquired as to whether Mount St. Hormone had blasted forth at all during the first twelve weeks.
“Nope.” I replied. “Just nausea. Lots of heartburn, headaches, muscle pain, extreme fatigue and a chest that felt like a punching bag every morning. Other than that? Faaaaaan-tastic.”
But, o, was I fool.
See, one of the things I’ve noticed as of late is the Jekyll/Hyde bit that hunger has been playing with me. Fine one minute, starving and raging she-beast the next. So when I started to get pangs in my stomach while we were picking up a few things at the mall, I thought, “Feed the beast…feed the beast.” We jolted over to Riviera Maya. I should have realized that the hearty mix of fried air and party of jubilant 40 year old birthday celebrants might make my already sick stomach worse. Despite noble efforts of gulping down water and shoveling chips down my gullet – my stomach still felt like a rock. Three bites of grilled chicken salad – and that “Uh oh” moment came.
You know that “uh oh” moment. Perhaps you’ve been out drinking. All night. Then, maybe it’s a waft of a clove cigarette or just that last sip that pushes you over the edge – but all you think is, “Uh oh” and promptly haul it to the nearest restroom.
Let’s just say…Maya Riviera, our neighborhood Mexican restaurant that we both love, is tainted. I’m talking #’s 1, 2 and 3 folks. Out the nose. Tortilla chips were never meant to go out the nose. And tonight…sweet mercy…tonight they did. Too much information? You kept reading a blog post that featured a woman hovering over a toilet. You have no room to judge.
The exclamation point in this little experience? Aside from being the loud puker in a restaurant restroom? Corey pointed out that the restaurant staff opened the restroom doors and sprayed air freshener right after I walked out. Don’t worry, he had a front row seat to watch the whole horrid thing.
But in the end…I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean – this whole “growing a people” thing is a free pass for this sort of malaise, right?
Fortunately, the nausea hasn’t dampened your writing prowess. If this blog post is a preview, your next few months of pregnancy are going to be hilarious. For us. For you, they’ll be Barfville, population You.
Oh, that’s gross. I’m sorry that happened to you. The only thing that ever made me vomit was seaweed salad. Twice, and then I thought, maybe I shouldn’t eat that any more.